Good evening everyone! Part of me right now is not exactly surprised. Part of me feels like I never left. And part of me just doesn’t understand what the heck is going on. But, Bryan, my parents, and I are right now back at University Hospital in downtown Louisville. I am back in a hospital bed, back in my same room actually, and back waiting to be fit into the schedule for some testing to figure out what exactly is going on.
So what IS going on you might ask. Well, two days ago I felt like my lower abdomen just below my belly button was feeling kind of firm. I didn’t know if it had always been that way and I just never had felt it or if it was scar tissue? I had no idea. But it wasn’t huge and it wasn’t too tender so I figured I’d keep an eye on it. The next day it wasn’t tender hardly at all but it was a little bigger and I became sure that it hadn’t been that way before. I texted my doctor and he said look for major pain and fever, neither of which I had, and if so, go to the ER.
I had told Bryan about it already and we had immediately prayed over it and rebuked it. Honestly, we were trusting God with all we had because going back to the hospital seemed like an unbearable thing at that point. I was screaming inside “I won’t let you take me back to that place! I won’t! I won’t do it!” But I kept feeling God remind me to trust in Him, rest in Him, He never gives us more than we can bear.
I went to bed last night and a little bit of fluid had come out of my drain tube when it had been dry for a few days now. I didn’t like the sight of that because that meant maybe abscess #2, or a new abscess, and if there’s a new one is it from a hole in my colon? Am I going to have to have a surgery again? Dear goodness, am I going to have to fly back to Mayo? My mind was immediately racing. Unfortunately, with all of the stuff I’ve been through and with Bryan and I both being in medical professions, we joke saying we know enough to make ourselves crazy but not enough to set our minds at ease. And that’s so true! We can diagnose the crap out of each other but all it does is lead us from symptom to symptom and suddenly we both are seriously ill. Sadly, in my case, it’s a 50:50 that it might be true; but, God still tells us to take every thought captive so that’s what we did. We prayed before bed, gave it all to God, and I fully expected to wake up to a flat stomach that wasn’t firm and was not pooched out with fluid. When I woke up at 7:00 this morning to go pee; however, I found quite the opposite.
I sat up and my stomach was more tender than it had been and was definitely more distended. Then I looked down at my drain tube and saw it was full of fluid; a whopping 150 mL to be exact. I then went to the bathroom, got back in bed, Bryan got up to go, and I just started crying. My worst fears were coming true, and when Bryan came back, I was going to have to tell him what was going on.
I told him, we prayed again, and decided to go back to sleep and see if it got any better. I had a good notion that it wouldn’t but we both needed rest. No need in driving to Louisville to wait in the ER forever when we both needed to sleep more. I actually did fall back asleep but then woke up before Bryan and got ready and started packing.
After that, long story short, we drove back to University Hospital and are now here, have spoken with a doctor, and are now waiting for a CT scan. They think it may just be a clogged tube that they can change or maybe put in a bigger tube, but a CT will help us to see exactly what’s up.
So, I’m not exactly thrilled to be here, in fact, we prayed on the drive up and told God we were frustrated. BUT, as I was preparing to make the drive, God just began to cover me in His peace and all anxiety, fear, doubt, bitterness, resentment, and anything the devil was trying to plant in my thoughts and heart just left! Praise God! I have been kind of attacked the past few days with discouragement; but, then, and still now, I really feel a peace and my joy is unexplainable! I’m stronger than I was when I was in the hospital before and I have been so encouraged by you all this week and all the stories I have heard about how God is using my story for His glory… I have wept with frustration and with joy this week but right now all I feel is joy and God’s presence all around me. I know I am in good hands so I’m gonna find out what this thing is, kick its tail, and be healed for good!
Thank you for your prayers! Just keep ’em coming. I posted the “Power of Prayer” a few days ago and now it’s time to put it to work! We’ll update as we know.