Out of the Crap; Into the Mud.

(Quick note before I start the main content of this post! We made it safely to Rochester today and have already been out on the town and enjoying the city we have come to know so well. I have not yet visited Barnes & Noble but that is on the top of the list for tomorrow 🙂 But before we can have fun tomorrow we have some business to take care of! I have my first appointment at 8:15 with my oncologist and then I see a breast surgeon at 10:00. The plan is to take the next step on the road to surgery and I am very excited about it! No lump means a happy Kailen.

Sometimes I like to look at the devotion for the next day before I go to bed so that I can pray about it and ask God to help me let it really sink in before I read it again in the morning, and tonight I am so glad I did! Part of it said:

“…Hope can make the difference between life and death. Prisoners of war who stop hoping are much less likely to survive. The same is true for those battling life-threatening illnesses. So it is important to nurture well your precious hope. It is also vial to place your hope in Me. Circumstances change all the time, but I am the same yesterday, today, and forever…” -Jesus Today

That could not have been more perfect for me. Life and death situation? Yes. Life-threatening illness? Yes. Circumstances changing all the time? Cue laughter. But the same Jesus that has been and always will be? Yes and double yes! And I have all the hope in Heaven and Earth because I believe in Jesus and the God of hope!

God has really been working on me in this area and I have begun to hope and pray for some really big things. I have a list of all the things I believe God can do in my life and every day I pray for them to become realities. I never want God to be able to say, “You have not because you ask not.” So I’m asking, and asking for the “impossible.” What’s the worst that could happen? It doesn’t happen and I end up with the same result; I’ll be in Heaven. I just think that God is, and does, so much more than the box we put Him in. The box that we feel comfortable with. The box that fits into our lives. But after the diagnosis of cancer hits, your box is conveniently shattered. You no longer have the luxury to hope in this world and medicine alone. Our medicine cannot cure cancer yet. But God can.

So why pray to God only in part? Why pray to just the part of Him that fits into your box? That, my friends, is what we call stupidity. I don’t want to be stupid. SO, I have decided to let God completely out of my box, like He was even in it in the first place, and I am learning to always look at Him for the God that He is. He is the great physician. He is the God who gives sight to the blind. He is the God who makes the lame to walk. He is the God who brings the DEAD BACK TO LIFE! So He can also be the God who can heal my blood and take away all clotting disorders. He can be the God who allows my body to conceive and give birth even when the doctors say I probably can’t. He can be the God who grows me a new colon even though mine has been removed. And He is a God who can remove ALL traces of cancer from my body that will never return.

I believe it with all of my heart and I will put all of my hope in Him.

“Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from Him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress. I WILL NOT BE SHAKEN.” Psalm 62:5-6)

Ok, that was not in any way a quick note but I guess I needed to get that out. At any rate, I am tired now and my big, fun post will have to wait! But I will leave you with a headline… this past Saturday I ran in a 5k Mud Run with some of my dearest friends!!! And yes, I completed it. Chemo in February and a Mud Run in August. God is good.



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