Good evening! Happy Friday! And happy November! November? Wow, it really is November. Where did October go? Anyway, today is a great day, not only because it is Friday, but because I am officially halfway done with my radiation treatments!!!!!!! I saw my doctor today and he says everything is going as planned. My skin is holding up really well and I still have zero ‘sunburn’, praise God. I am not experiencing any other negative side effects at all and half of it is already over! It could not be going more smoothly.
Because I am halfway done with my usual treatments, today I went in for my scan and set up session to get ready for the treatment I am going to be receiving to the three areas where the cancer had metastasized. They are going to zap my neck, left hip, and tail bone, and my doctor says I shouldn’t have any side effects except maybe a sore throat. But other than that, no big deal! I will be doing those treatments probably starting next week but maybe later. These treatments will be given using a different machine than the one I usually use so they just have to find time to fit me in.
Even though I would rather not want to be doing radiation at all, I am absolutely loving the team at Markey Cancer Center and have actually enjoyed my visits each day. The staff is so helpful and is genuinely interested in you as a person and not just a patient. I truly look forward to my lunch break and the brief change of scenery from my externship! I won’t really hate to say goodbye to them but, in a way, I suppose I might! Along with the staff, it has been neat to see how I have gotten to know all those others who are also receiving radiation. I see the same people every day and have gotten to know a few of them really well. We have all been coming at the same time for three weeks now and have sort of formed a small support group for each other. I love getting to share and talk with them each day, but the best part was today when we said goodbye to one man who has successfully completed his treatment! I will miss getting to talk with him and his wife but it was a touching moment to see him walk out the door and know he won’t have to come back. Now I just can’t wait until it’s my turn to do that too!
In other news, I am almost done with my phlebotomy externship! I have just two more days and then I will be moving on to my four week medical assisting externship at the Kentucky Clinic. I am almost halfway done with my externships now and there is nothing holding me back from completing them, passing my boards, and getting a job! How awesome is that?! I know I have been back in the ‘real world’ of school/work for a while now, but it still seems sort of surreal to actually be accomplishing something and not have someone give me bad news from somewhere. I keep having moments where I stop and think about how good I am doing and then think, “But for how long?” In my heart, I know I should not be expecting something to go wrong, but my flesh is wanting very much to be cautiously optimistic. I think Bryan and I have both been experiencing that a little bit lately. As he put it, “You get smacked in the face by life so many times, eventually you’re going to start looking out.”
And that is so true. I don’t believe anything bad is going to happen but I am still so thankful for a God who is bigger than the feeling of suspense. Because that’s all that is it; a feeling. And one of the things I am most thankful for that my parents taught me is that feelings are not always reality. Do you ever struggle with that? I know I do. And I think it is one of the biggest ways the devil tries to control us, by manipulating our feelings. How tricky! It is so hard some times to choose what God says is reality over how you feel, but it must be done. And when you don’t take time to question your feelings, what a slippery slope it is! So I am being extra careful these days to ask God to “search me and know my anxious thoughts,” (Psalm 139:23), and He is helping me to continue to follow him with abandon and free of caution.
One more thing before I go. I have now realized that I can reply to all of your comments and you actually do get my response! Yeah, you think I would’ve figured that out sooner huh. Still, I am going to be going back and responding to comments from this past year and I would like to encourage you to leave one yourself if you have something to say! I love hearing from everyone who is keeping in touch with what’s going on in my life! And if you have anything you want to ask, something you want to know about, if I’ve forgotten to mention something… just let me know! I would love to hear from you.
As always, thank you all so much for being on my team and for being so supportive. Even though my days now are not quite as difficult as they have been in the past, some days still have their moments and having the support system that I do is more of a blessing than I could possibly describe. You all are the best! Have a great weekend!